Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Our Journey to Adoption

Although we just recently posted our profile on adoption.com, our adoption journey really started a few years ago. There was a time before Winston, when we contemplated quite seriously about adoption. We were struggling with our fertility treatments, and after another failed IUI, I told Richard I needed a break. We stopped our treatments and decided to pursue another path. We did the paperwork, and met with a caseworker for LDS Family Services. I still remember the day so clearly. 

We sat in our appointment, answering question and after question, trying to prove that we were decent people with a sincere desire. At the end of the interview, she said we passed and the next step would be to put down the first payment of money. Wow...we were really doing this. My eyes actually welled up with tears thinking that we were one step closer to our baby. It was late afternoon on a Friday and so the department we were to pay, was already closed. They gave us the contact information and we said we'd call on Monday morning. We walked out and I turned to Richard and said, "Can you believe we're doing this?" His quick, yet sincere response was, "We're not doing this. I cannot give up on our own baby. We need to do IVF." In that parking lot, I realized this great man I had married, was going to fight for our baby to come to Earth. We proceeded with our first IVF treatment and it was a success. Nine months later, we welcomed Winston Kaimana Naotaka Oto into our lives. I still look back on that D.I. parking lot with a sense of gratitude for Richard who pushed us forward in our fertility journey.

In January of this year, we decided to move forward with another IVF cycle. From our previous fertility treatments, we learned that I have a very low number of eggs left. Officially, my Doctor called it, "Diminishing Ovarian Reserve".  Although Win was barely one, we knew we couldn't wait longer on the off chance that my eggs might be gone. We started our IVF cycle-- more shots, ultrasounds, blood work and it all payed off. We got pregnant. Sadly, we miscarried at 8 weeks. It was devastating that after all our hard work, we had lost our baby. In that same cycle, my Doctor discovered that I had Endometriosis. He suggested that I go on a shot (Depot Lupron) for a few months to help get rid of the Endometriosis. Essentially, this shut shut down my reproductive system sending my body into menopause. It sounds glamorous to not have any periods right?  But, let me tell you, it was anything but that. Intense weight gain (yep, I still feel super fat) and crazy hot flashes. After three months of this, they jumpstarted my body and we went straight into another IVF. 

I had so much hope this time around. I honestly thought, "We've been through so much heartache and now God would bless us for remaining faithful." Silly me. One of the greatest lessons I've learned through all of this is that God doesn't grant us blessings because WE think we're done with our trial. Only He can decide that. And, He knew we still had and still have so much to learn and grow. Our IVF cycle was a success, but once again we miscarried at eight weeks. 

Somehow this miscarriage was different than the first. I knew, our baby was out there waiting for us, and if we sat by idly, we'd miss their entrance into the world. I felt a sense of urgency to quickly move forward with our hopeful adoption. I was grateful Richard felt the same way. We began contacting agencies for a home study and then shortly after started the process. Every completed background check, child abuse clearance, FBI check, etc. felt like one step closer to our baby. Within one month, we had a home study complete and our profile posted on adoption.com. I feel so much better knowing that we have done all within our power to bring our baby to us.  Now, we wait. 

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